Cc

Cabinet
A trap for taxi drivers.

Cacophony
Not real poo!

Cadaverous
A greedy rogue.

Cadillac
Having to carry your own golf clubs.

Camiknickers
People who steal cameras.

Campaign
The result of prolonged periods of Julian Clary impressions.

Canadian
Yes, we are able to help Ian.

Cannelloni
A narrow boat for one.

Canopy
Tin of urine.

Capitulate
The mistake BP made in the Gulf of Mexico.

Carbuncle
Male relative with extreme views on car fuel systems.

Car Park
How Noah saved the fishes from the great flood.

Carpeting
Being friendly to fish.

Castanet
To go fishing.

Catacomb
Feline grooming device.

Catastrophe
A rather strange award in the form of a cat.

Caustic
Blimey, a twig!.

Cavendish
A bit like a cavern.

Cavity
The force of attraction which enables people to stay on their feet whilst exploring caves.

Celery
A bit like a basement.

Cemetery
Half a tree.

Chagrin
Facial expression of pleasure whilst having sex.

Chameleon
A cross between a camel and a lion.

Champagne
To fake injury.

Chariot
An uprising of cleaning staff.

Charming
Fire damage to an oriental vase.

Chauffeur
What Britany Spears does when getting out of a car and Sharon Stone does when being interviewed by the police.

Cherish
A bit like a chair.

Cherished
Something dropped by Tony Blair's wife.

Christmas
Something Chris is compelled to do.

Circle
The coolest knight around.

Circumflex
Stripping the insulation from electric cable.

Circumnavigate
To politely ask the captain to do his job.

Circumstance
Posture adopted after midlife conversion to judaism.

Circumvent
The hole in the top of a circus tent.

Cistern
Your sister's behind.

Climax
Mountaineer's hatchet.

Coalesce
Shortage of coal.

Cobalt
To run away together.

Coconut
Crazy about hot chocolate.

Collimator
A stud farm for sheepdogs.

Colonnade
Fizzy drink made from the large intestine.

Colonoscopy
The art of scrutinising punctuation.

Condescending
A prisoner in an elevator.

Conquest
A prisoner on an adventure.

Constable
A barn for bad horses.

Constrain
Prison railway service.

Contempory
A part-time con artist.

Contest
Criminal examination.

Control
To deceive a monster.

Copper Nitrate
Pay scale for police officers working during the hours of darkness.

Coriander
My gosh! Mister and Missus!

Cormorants
Good heavens! Extra insects.

Cotton
A very heavy crib.

Counter-productive
A manufacturer of worktops.

Covenant
An insect involved in witchcraft.

Cowpat
The act of comforting a cow.

Coypu
A somewhat shy smell.

Croquette
A very small crow.

Crossbowman
A very unhappy archer.

Cross-dresser
Someone who decorates or otherwise improves the appearance of crucifixes.

Crucifix
Religious adhesive.

Crumple
To drag a very small piece of cake across a table.

Crusader
Scientology supporter.

Crustacea
A continent populated entirely by very old people.

Cubicle
A four wheeled bicycle.

Cuisine
A puzzle book.

Cunnilingus
A group of very clever linguists.

Curdles
A sport which involves jumping over sour milk.

Curtail
A canine appendage.

Cuticle
A phone call from a lovely young lady.

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